For today, we’re tackling a topic that a lot of families struggle with—how to talk to your parents about home health care. 

Whether you’re a family caregiver, considering in-home care for a loved one, or simply seeking to understand how home health care works, we are here to give you insight on how to take the first step in bringing home health care into conversation. 

Now, I know this isn’t the easiest conversation to have. It can feel awkward, emotional, and sometimes, our parents just don’t want to hear it.

But if you’ve noticed that your loved one is having a harder time managing daily tasks, forgetting to take medications, or maybe struggling with mobility, having issues falling more frequently, or getting into situations that are unsafe —  it’s probably time to bring up the idea of getting a little extra support.

Although there is a really good chance they will be less than receptive to the idea initially, it is important to plant the seed and build the conversation around this topic before the situation becomes an emergency. It is much easier to transition to having a health care aid in your home in the earlier stages of care, than when yourself and the family are feeling overwhelmed and frazzled and all of sudden you end up in a situation that is requiring immediate support. 

So, how do we do this in a way that’s gentle, respectful, and actually has them considering home health care? 

Today, we are going to provide some tips on how to approach this conversation and provide an insight on why approaching this conversation sooner than later is the ideal way to introduce home care. 

Painting the Picture

First, let’s paint 2 scenarios. 

The first scenario is the most ideal : The caretaker of the family brings up the conversation of home care and plants the seed with a gentle approach. Planting the seed for thought may take a few weeks or months and over time, the conversation can expand where you share the positives of home health care and provide ease to their anxieties and fears. You introduce a caregiver, and best case scenario, it is the perfect ideal caregiver right off the bat. It is important for families to reduce this expectation, as it can sometimes take a caregiver or two to find the right fit. There is also a transition period for the client, and this period ranges for everyone. The spectrum of time for someone to be comfortable with a new caregiver can vary by person. If your loved one is less receptive or struggles with transitions, home care like Just Like Family will work with you to schedule shorter shifts 2-3x/week is recommended and then from there, the hours can be increased as needed – depending on the allocated hours and funding. A customized care plan is created and JLF – Calgary management team will monitor and adjust accordingly, whether it be scheduling, updating care plan or forwarding information to caregivers. The ideal scenario is a smooth transition phase with the family and client who are receptive to the idea of home care. 

The second scenario, could look like an emergency situation has forced the family and client to require home care services. The overall energy is stressful, emotional and.. 

For example: Hermione, a 38-year-old mother of 3, gets a frantic call from her older brother, George.. Their 72-year-old father, who has been managing his recent stroke, has just suffered a severe fall in his garage, on the steps leading from the house into the garage.. He’s conscious but unable to move his left leg, and his speech is slurred. Meanwhile, their mother Christine, who has mild dementia, is panicking and unable to provide any real assistance. She is confused and unable to put into accurate words to describe the event. Christine has forgotten that she has left the stove burner on to attend to the noise in the garage that took her attention away from cooking. 

George, the son,  who lives two hours away, is stuck in traffic, and Hermione is across town with 3 children at home, one of them being a new born. The hospital confirms the father has a fractured hip and will be discharged in 48 hours, but he’ll need round-the-clock care.Christine  is not capable of managing his needs alone. George and Hermione have their hands full and cannot provide 24/7 care for their parents. They need home care immediately— All of sudden, Hermione and George are scrambling to find care with no idea of the first steps to home care. No clear path forward and the tensions are high. 

These situations do happen. 

Which situation is the most ideal? 

I think we would all agree that the first scenario is the most ideal blueprint path to introducing home care. 

When do I bring up the topic of Home Health Care? 

The best time to bring this up? Before it’s an emergency. If you wait until there’s a fall, a hospitalization, or a major health or safety  event, emotions will be running high, and it’ll be harder to make calm, well-thought-out decisions when everyone is in crisis mode. 

So, the first step is to bring up the idea of home care casually – maybe over coffee or during a family gathering when everyone is relaxed.

You could say something like:
“Mom, I’ve noticed you’ve been a little more tired lately. Or Dad, Ive noticed youve been falling lately. I just want to make sure you’re getting all the help you need. Have you ever thought about getting a bit of extra support at home?”

Often times, we see that our parents or loved ones are fiercely independent, so you may need to approach the conversation a little differently: 

“Dad, I know you love living at home, and I want to make sure you can stay here as long as possible. What if we brought in someone just to help out with the little things, like groceries or housekeeping?”. 

You may want to include other positive things that a caregiver can introduce to their lives, such as favorite activities and hobbies. 

However, it is also important to remember that this conversation isn’t just about you convincing them—it’s about understanding their fears and hesitations. It;s about providing a safe space to communicate your concerns with the focus being on the great impact it can provide to their quality of life. IIt is important that we practice being compassionate and listen to their concerns. 

An important aspect to remember is that there is  often an underlying worry that accepting help means losing independence. So, reassurance is key. They may express that there is a fear of losing a sense of freedom, but it’s important to highlight that home health care aids can make life easier and safer. Caregivers can aid in promoting their sense of freedom and independence but also provides comfort in knowing that there is someone monitoring. From there, it’s important to listen and acknowledge the concerns. 

Maybe they’re worried about a stranger in their home or about the cost. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know you’ll find solutions together.

If they’re hesitant, I encourage to highlight the positives:

• They stay in their own home or space. No need for a big move or a major lifestyle change.
• It can be just a little bit of help. Maybe just a few hours a week to start and have a balance of tasks they enjoy doing with chores that are required to make the week easier. This could be helping to put away groceries, cleaning out the fridge of expired food, taking out the recycling. 
• More time for things they enjoy. A caregiver can handle the daily tasks so they have more energy for hobbies, friends, and family. Caregivers can also aid in encouraging them to do the things they like to do that they maybe otherwise wouldn’t be able to do. 
• It also allows for peace of mind for everyone. You won’t have to worry as much, and they’ll have someone there when needed.

Okay, so you planted the seed. You started the conversation of bringing in a caregiver but there is still uncertainty. 

What is the next step? 

What is the next step? 

Suggest a trial run—maybe just a few visits a week to start. Short and sweet. We do have a 4 hour minimum to shifts but starting with 2 visits a week at 4 hours is a good way to transition into home care. Once they see how helpful it is and the right caregiver is matched based on skill and personality, they’ll likely come around.

At Just Like Family – Calgary, we completely get that no two families are the same. That’s why we offer personalized care plans to match each client’s specific needs. We also are compassionate and understand the importance of connecting the right caregiver to be placed with your family. 

• Need help with daily tasks? Looking for companionship or dealing with a specific health condition like dementia? 

We’ve got caregivers for that! 

We can match your loved one with someone they truly connect with. At JLF – Calgary, we take the matching seriously and will do our best to find the right caregiver. In some cases, it can take a few caregivers to find the right one, but it is important to both us and your family that we find the right caregiver. 

Our trained caregivers provide specialized support. We have care aids  with a  variety of skills, and have worked in a variety of environments such as hospitals, group homes, day programs, and facilities. We have health care aids who are familiar with using lifts, and all come with their own personality and character traits. We understand there is a multifaceted approach to caring for individuals with a spectrum of health conditions, including personality, approach and skill set. 

Let’s Wrap it Up! 

So, if you’re feeling nervous about bringing this up with your parents, just remember: 

Start small, be patient, and make it about their comfort and independence. We want to promote and increase their quality of life, while also ensuring their safety and needs are met. Having a caregiver is a symbiotic relationship that enriches companionship, and provides support. It is about adding more to life, – more support, more companionship, more opportunities to increase quality of life.

Read more about how home care services enhance quality of life.